stop scrolling
a group of ferrets is referred to as a business of ferrets
ok you can scroll again now
A person who never does as they'd like to, on a mission to create and love. DFTBA, folks.
still one of the best things ive ever seen.
slaughter melon reporting for duty.
BROCONUT
m a n g ERI NEFUCKING SLAUGHTERMELON
too good to not reblog
MANgerine
Hey guys who follow me, Imma make a new tumblr… Im deleting this one. If you’d still like to follow me, my email is mywrl13@bellsouth.net
| Song: The 2nd Law: Unsustainable |
| Artist: Muse |
| Album: The 2nd Law |
| Played: 461,497 times. |
![sourcedumal:
dinosaurstalking:
theonion:
Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful Object: Full Story
Holy—
“Ashley has really developed into quite a striking assemblage of physical attributes that are found to be sexually attractive in our culture,” said Parker’s uncle Keith Hayes, expressing astonishment at how his niece had steadily matured from a precocious youth into a shapely, ravishing thing devoid of intellect and personality. “It’s hard to believe that she used to be that little girl [capable of subjective experiences] that I remember. Now look at her—she’s such a lovely vessel for displaced sexual frustration and voyeuristic lust, just like her mother.”
“Seems like just yesterday she was this creative 7-year-old kid, pretending her Barbie was the first woman president,” Hayes added. “My, they grow into little more than consumer goods so quickly.”
Marveling at the rite of passage that all females make from girlhood into entirely disempowered objecthood, Hayes expressed confidence that the 17-year-old would one day become a highly prized physical possession for “one lucky guy.”
The Onion’s feeling sassy today
DAMN….. The Onion is on point….](http://25.media.tumblr.com/33dd7767ef44e8d0364442d402d5ec98/tumblr_mheblq2Hhr1qckp4qo1_400.png)
Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful Object: Full Story
Holy—
“Ashley has really developed into quite a striking assemblage of physical attributes that are found to be sexually attractive in our culture,” said Parker’s uncle Keith Hayes, expressing astonishment at how his niece had steadily matured from a precocious youth into a shapely, ravishing thing devoid of intellect and personality. “It’s hard to believe that she used to be that little girl [capable of subjective experiences] that I remember. Now look at her—she’s such a lovely vessel for displaced sexual frustration and voyeuristic lust, just like her mother.”
“Seems like just yesterday she was this creative 7-year-old kid, pretending her Barbie was the first woman president,” Hayes added. “My, they grow into little more than consumer goods so quickly.”Marveling at the rite of passage that all females make from girlhood into entirely disempowered objecthood, Hayes expressed confidence that the 17-year-old would one day become a highly prized physical possession for “one lucky guy.”
The Onion’s feeling sassy today
DAMN….. The Onion is on point….
me on my period
me:
touch me and DIE
me:
please touch me oh my god touch me EVERYWHERE OH MY GOD
me:
feed me im hungry i want to eat ALL THE THINGS
me:
IT HURTS DEAR GOD THIS IS IT THIS IS THE END DEATH IS UPON ME
me:
-cries for 3 hours-
me:
oh my god i'm hungry
me:
SHOOT ME IN THE WOMB I SIMPLY CANNOT GO ON
me:
no no no please don't sneeze please don't FUCKING SNEEZE
me:
-sneezes-
me:
THE END IS HERE
REBLOG THIS IF YOU HAVE NEVER HAD A VALENTINE.
Does my dog count? Even then…
A Little girl, 3 yrs. old picked up by a man driving a gray car, license plate: Quebec 72B 381. Canada. Reblog this. It could save her. The Kidnapping is recent so do it, 3 seconds will not kill you. If it were your child .
Please, please, please, everyone reblog this. Please. I’m begging you.
no matter how close i think i am with someone there’s always someone before me like i’m literally never someone’s first option
it’s sad how accurate this is, in every aspect of my life.
